Worthy Of Irritation
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: "Cancel my subscription," Bella said, glaring at him. "I don't need your issues." / Edward's up to his old tricks, Alice is whiny, Peter and Charlotte are amused and Jasper is loving it. Mostly vamps, only one teeny tiny human and it isn't Bella. Warnings posted in the AN. Probably not for you if you're an Edward lover.


**Disclaimer - I don't own nothing you recognise :P**

 **AN - Probably - definitely - out of character. Swearing. Mentions of sex. Think that's it warning wise. Enjoy and leave me some sugar at the bottom if it pleases you :D**

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 **Worthy of Irritation**

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Bella was in the backroom of the restaurant when she first smelled the scents. Fucking Vampires. She sighed internally, watching the clock tick the last few seconds of her break away. Knowing what was waiting for her when she walked out, she was half tempted to tell her boss, Tony, that she was sick.

Instead, she squared her shoulders and walked out of the break room with her head high, her eyes already scanning the room as she took her first step passed the door. What she saw shocked her to the core.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," she murmured.

Nine vampires looked back at her. Seven pairs of gold eyes widened in shock, while two pairs of violet eyes watched on with curiosity evident on their faces. At the table, only one pair of blue eyes remained on the menu.

Bella rolled her eyes at them and walked over to the bar.

"Who's got the ten in the corner?" she asked.

Tony scanned the list and smiled. "Well look at that. You do. They look like good tippers, Bell. Be nice."

"I'm always nice!" she replied, mock offended.

When he scoffed, Bella laughed.

"Alright, alright, be nice, I got it."

She walked over to the table, pulling her order book out as she did.

"Welcome to Mustava. Can I take your drink order?"

Even to herself she sounded bored, and she didn't meet any of their eyes.

"Bella?"

"Is that a wine or a spirit? Sorry, we don't stock it."

Three of the vampires cracked up laughing.

"Have you got Screaming Eagle Sauvignon Blanc, Isabella?" Carlisle asked, his eyes not moving from her.

"Sure. How many bottles?"

"Two will be fine, thank you."

"I'll be right back," Bella said, nodding her head to Carlisle.

When she arrived back at the bar, Tony was waiting for her with a frown on his face.

"Do you know them, Bell?" he asked, glancing over her shoulder. "They haven't taken their eyes off you since you walked in."

"Yeah... something like that, Tony. Two bottles of Screaming Eagle, eh?"

"Fucking hell. I said a nice tip, didn't I? I'll get em for ya, Bell, hang on."

A couple of minutes later, he was back with the two bottles. Bell took them over to the table.

"Would sir like to taste before I pour?" she offered, barely concealing her amusement.

"I'm sure it's fine," Carlisle replied, not even trying to hide his smile. "How are you here, Bella?"

"I drove my car," Bella said blandly, pouring the wine into the glasses in equal measures. "Are you all ready to order?"

After a murmur of confirmation, they took turns to give her their orders. Bella couldn't stop the curiosity when she looked at the lone human sitting between Edward and Alice. Surely they weren't doing to this poor girl what they'd once done to her?

"Clearly we're not getting any answers out of you now, Bella, but would you please meet us after your shift? Obviously we have a lot to discuss," Edward said quickly and quietly. Bella chuckled quietly.

"We have nothing to discuss Edward," she replied, her tone normal. The human looked at her sharply, before turning her stare to Edward. "I'll be back with your orders shortly."

"Isabella! We need to talk dammit!" Edward growled.

Bella walked away, shifting to another table of guests that had just been seated. She could hear the conversation behind her perfectly, and she listened in unashamedly while she took the new orders.

"How the hell is she here!" Jasper asked. "You told me she was fucking dead, Alice!"

"Hmm, I seem to remember you telling us all that, Alice. Care to explain?" Carlisle asked.

Ooh, Daddy Cullen was mad! Bella didn't bother hiding her amusement as she passed the table, and Jasper winked at her.

"Jasper, shut the hell up. This doesn't even concern you!" Alice growled. "You're not even a Cullen anymore!"

"Doesn't change that you lied to me, does it?" Jasper replied. "And everyone else while you were at it."

"I don't know what you want me to say," she whined. "My visions aren't always accurate, you know that."

Jasper clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

The man with violet eyes piped up then with a question. "This is the Bella from Forks, right? The human girl that Edward had a thing for?"

Bella laughed, turning it quickly into a cough when Tony looked at her oddly.

The blue eyed human looked like she was about to cry.

"Eddie? What are they talking about?" she simpered. "I thought I was your first, your only love?"

Esme gasped. "You never told her about Bella?"

"I'm not sure why you expected anything different, Esme. God forbid that Edward actually man up and tell the truth," Rosalie drawled, her tone perfectly pitched boredom.

Bella grinned at Tony when he called her over to tell her the food was ready. Grabbing one of the serving trolleys, she loaded the dishes onto it and pushed it out to the table, efficiently placing the meals in front of their recipients.

"Can I get you anything else?" she asked, politely.

"An explanation would be good," Edward said sullenly. "I can't believe you didn't come and find me the moment you were changed! What on earth were you thinking, Bella?"

"I'll take that as a no," Bella muttered, rolling her eyes. "Enjoy your meal."

"Bella, please. I understand why you don't want to see Edward... Will you meet with me and Rosie after your shift? Please?" Emmett begged.

Bella sighed. "There's a bar across the street. I'll be there at eleven. If you're there, you're there. If you're not... well, I certainly won't lose any sleep over it, will I?"

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She shook her hair from it's bun, letting it cascade in loose curls down her back. Gone was the drab restaurant uniform, instead she wore dark jeans that looked like they'd been painted on, a dark red tank and a leather jacket, left open. She redid her make up quickly, adding a little more while she was at it. Looking in the mirror in the locker room, she gave herself a quick once over, nodded at her reflection, and walked out to the front of the restaurant.

Tony was locking up, and he whistled when she walked over to him.

"You look stunning," he told her. "Got a hot date?"

"Always," she replied with a grin, kissing his cheek as she passed him. "Goodnight, Tony."

She crossed the road and walked into the bar, not surprised to find the ten dining guests from the restaurant waiting for her. Instead of going to their table, she moved through the crowd to the bar, calling to the bartender.

"Whiskey on the rocks."

"Coming right up, Gorgeous."

He handed her her drink, and she put the money on the bar. Taking an unnecessary breath to settle herself, she walked over to the table. Jasper pulled a chair out for her, and she sat, putting her drink on the table.

"I was changed by Victoria when I was twenty, in revenge for James. I've been working at the restaurant for a little over a year. I'll be moving soon, and no, you don't need to know where I'm moving too. I spent a few years travelling, I'm fine for money, I'm fine with humans, and I don't want to be part of your family. Have I about covered any questions you might have had?"

The two violet eyed vampires laughed at the shocked looks on the Cullen's faces, while Jasper actually laughed.

"Why didn't you come to us, Bella? Why didn't you come to me? You know I love -" Edward cut off at the gasp from the human. " _\- loved_ you. I was broken when I had to leave you, and it nearly destroyed me when Alice told me you were dead. I almost went to the Volturi!"

"Cancel my subscription," Bella said, glaring at him. "I don't need your issues."

"Bella!" Alice gasped, scandalised.

Bella laughed. "Ya'll are being awfully rude, you know. No introductions or anything. I'm disappointed. I thought your family was all about appearances?"

Carlisle looked chagrined. "My apologies, Bella. That's Peter and Charlotte, Jasper's... coven."

"Brother and sister, Darlin'," Jasper corrected, smiling at Bella. His eyes twinkled, and she was pretty sure she'd never seen a more delicious sight.

"And this is Hannah, Edward's girlfriend."

Bella tsked. "Really Edward. Most of us live and learn. You just live, apparently. Surely you've learnt your lesson about dating humans?"

"That's none of your business," Edward muttered.

Bella looked at Hannah. "A word of warning, honey. He won't change you, he won't have sex with you, and when he's bored, he'll leave you alone to fall apart. Run. Quickly."

"How'd do you know he won't have sex with me?" Hannah demanded. "He's already ag-"

"Hannah!" Edward scolded.

Bella laughed. "Please. The only way he'll ever get laid is if he crawls up a chicken's ass and waits."

Jasper, Peter, Charlotte, Emmett and Rose burst out laughing. Bella grinned at them.

"Well, this has been nice and all..."

"Don't leave, Bella," Esme said, reaching out to touch Bella's arm. Bella moved out of reach.

Bella hesitated for a moment, and as she did, the dj came over the mike, promising a party like none other. As the music got louder, and the crowds started migrating to the dance floor, Bella shrugged.

"I'm gonna go dance, anyone coming with?"

Peter and Charlotte were the first up, followed quickly be Rose and Emmett. Bella tilted her head and looked at Jasper.

"Fancy a dance, cowboy?"

Jasper grinned. "Thought you'd never ask, Darlin'. It'd be my absolute pleasure."

He took her hand in his, and she followed him to the middle of the floor, turning her back to his chest. She lost herself in the music and the feelings he was invoking in her and let go. They danced through a few songs, before Charlotte appeared in front of her, pulling her away from Jasper. As the two girls got closer together, Emmett and Rose stopped dancing and moved to stand with Peter and Jasper, watching.

"Ever get the feeling they've done that before, Rose?" Emmett asked pointedly, eyeing Jasper suspiciously.

"Hmm, I'm beginning to get the feeling we've missed quite a lot, Em."

Bella and Charlotte stopped dancing and approached them, both smiling widely. Bella moved quickly so she was behind Peter, and jumped up on his back.

"I'd say they've caught us good and proper, Major," she said to Jasper. "I'd say it's time we made a move."

"What's going on?" Emmett asked, looking confused.

"Bella's been with us for years, Em," Jasper said, patting his friend on the arm. "She's my mate."

They moved over to the table, Bella still on Peter's back.

"Well, it's been fun, but we gotta go. We should do this again in another twenty years," Bella said cheerfully.

"You stole my mate?" Edward asked Jasper incredulously.

Bella waved him off before Jasper could answer. "Shut up, Edward. You sound better with your mouth closed. Oi, human," she added.

"It's Hannah," the girl replied petulantly.

"Eh, human, Hannah, it's all the same. Remember what I said, and if you don't wanna take that advice, I'll offer you another one. Get yourself a decent sex toy. Let's bounce, people."

Peter turned away from the table, laughing his head off, and Jasper and Charlotte followed. They were out in the street when they were called back.

"Bell, Jazz? Can we... can we come see you? When you move?"

Emmett stood in front of them, Rose slightly behind him.

Jasper grinned and nodded. "I'll call you. Maybe you could go on another honeymoon? See ya' later, guys!"

Bella moved from Peter's back to Jasper's in the blink of an eye, pressing her lips to his neck. "I missed you this week," she whispered in his ear.

"I missed you more, baby. Hey, why'd you seem so surprised when you saw us at the restaurant? I told you we'd be there."

"Two reasons," Bella replied, in between the kisses she was placing against the mating mark on Jasper's neck. "I didn't expect him to actually let his human be around Pete and Char, and I didn't expect to see them two wearing contacts. What didja have to promise them to make that happen?"

"He ain't promised us nothing, Baby B. We wanted to see you tear strips off Edward. That's worth the irritation of these fucking things any day of the week."

Char nodded. "Come on, let's go home."

"Yes, lets," Jasper agreed. Turning his face to Bella, he added, "It's been far too long since I've had you wrapped around me. We need to make up for lost time."


End file.
